Introduction / Sypnosis:

Ryan (Troy Gentile) and Wade (Nate Hartley) are two boys starting high school. Ryan decides that he will enter high school with a nickname (T-Dog), and Wade decides that he’ll find a girlfriend. Wade meets Brooke (Valerie Tian) and develops a crush for her. Two bullies, Filkins (Alex Frost) and Ronnie (Josh Peck) attack a geek, Emmit Oosterhaus (David Dorfman) by shoving him into his locker. Wade intervenes. Filkins and Ronnie begin targeting Ryan and Wade.

The next day Ryan and Wade meet Emmit, who follows them around. Ryan thinks having Emmit around will get them bullied. He is right. Filkins and Ronnie humiliate them at any given moment.

The boys complain to the principal (Stephen Root) but Filkins plays innocent. After school, a furious Filkins chases them with his car. Wade suggests hiring a bodyguard. They place an ad on the Internet, and end up selecting Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Taylor pretends to be a martial arts expert and mercenary, but is really a homeless beggar who showers at a public beach and eats out of a dumpster. His real intention of becoming their bodyguard is to rob them. He intends use the money to buy a ticket to Canada.

Drillbit tells the boys to find some common interests and become friends with Filkins and Ronnie. They find out that Filkins likes rapping. Ryan challenges Filkins to a rap battle but gets carried away by humiliating him. Ryan realizes what has happened and flees. An angry Filkins finds Wade and punches him out.